Things Obama Could Do To Make Me Happy - Part 5

I know, I know, you thought we were done with
this, and I did, too, but I received a request for
yet another "in the series".  You have to admit,
there's been plenty of "material" over the last
7 months or so for at least 1 more!  Here goes.

Obama might make me happy if he would:

l.   Make me Manager of his campaign committee.

2.  Tell us who his Chicago real estate agent is.  (Tony Rezko?)

3.  Admit to being Michelle's "fashion consultant".

4.  Tell us his favorite "name" for G.W.

5.  Give us his Muslim name.

6.  Tell us "what's in his wallet"?  A picture of me?

7.  Run for "president" - of Kenya!

8.  Let me write the "forward" to his next book.

9.  Show us his "college diplomas", unless they're with his B.C.

10.  Tell us Michelle's measurements - in case we want to send gifts.

11.  State what time you start work each day - I heard it was 10AM.

12.  Give us the name of his "favorite" at the Chicago "bath house".

13.  Say what his favorite "color" is - Pink?  Red?

14.  Reveal the name of his Columbian "girlfriend".

15.  Volunteer for the next Russian space shot.

16.  Give me the $1 million that he won't return to Bill Maher.

17.  Tell us which Goodwill store Michelle shops at.

18.  Fight me in an MMA bout.

19.  Tell us, if he's reelected, how long before he declares himself "King"?

20.  State how many times in his life that he's "told the truth"!  (He won't
       have to take his shoes off for this one!)

21.  Show us his "limbo" moves - we know he can "get LOW".

22.  Recite as much of the Koran as he knows by heart.

23.  Tell us how many men he's been with, not counting Mr. Sinclair.

24.  Tell us how much his daughter's Mexico trip cost US!

25.  Being a golfer, state his "handicap", and I don't mean Biden.

26.  Give us his plans if he should lose the election - turn golf pro?

27.  Report why Hillary Clinton is looking "so haggard".

28.  Show us your "report cards" from high school and college - unless
       they're "lost" with your B.C. and diplomas.

29.  Tell us what Muslim stories you read to the girls at night.  (Are
       they "scary"?)

30.  As always, the last one is for you, the reader -


THAT'S ALL FOLKS!  (for now)     

HOW OBAMA GOT ELECTED

With our country in such a turmoil over
so many issues, some have posed the
question, "How did Obama get elected?"

Technically, he got "in" because the larger
percentage of voters checked his name,
rather than his opponents'.  Then, of course,
as the U.S. Constitution requires, the
"Electoral College" confirmed the "popular"
vote and made his election "official".

BUT the question that bears scrutiny and
begs intelligent answers, is still "How did
Barack Hussein Obama" manage to get
the votes that he did, and win the Presidency
of the United States?"

HEREWITH ARE MY CONCLUSIONS:

1.  He got the majority of the "black" vote
because of his skin color.

2.  He was a "fresh face" in national
politics, exciting a portion of the electorate.

3.  He had not been in government long
enough for us to "have the goods on him",
despite no record of accomplishments.

4.  His physical appearance was that of
one who was youthful and fit.

5.  His oratorical skills were some of the
"best"  any of us had ever given audience to.

6.  Finances for his campaign came from
George Soros, other countries, and many
"mysterious donors", whose identities
are still held secret, illegally.

7.  The McCain campaign made the
"calculated risk" of selecting a virtual
unknown and untested running mate.

8.  He had "credentials", supposedly, from
some of our country's prestigious colleges.

9.  There were (and still are) fraudelent
activities in many polling places, some of
which are just now "coming to light", and
others under investigation.

10.  Many, minorities especially, who had
never voted before (and a large number of
those hadn't even registered before) were
anxious and eager to "be a part of history".

11.  He had the "support" of Ghadaffi,
Farrakhan, Wright, Jackson, Sharpton, etc.,
whose influences made him electable.

12.  Some Americans, who were uninformed,
and lacking critical details, wanted to
"get back at George Bush's party".

13.  Accusations abound of "multiple votes"
by individuals, and "votes" by those who
were deceased.

14.  Union bosses (thugs) and memberships
intimidated their constituents to "direct
their votes in his direction, "or else".....

15.  "Power plays" behind the scenes kept
other potential candidates from being
successful or even considered for nominee.

16.  Those of Jewish faith and heritage
failed to see the danger of choosing a
Muslim as their country's leader.

17.  He received the endorsements of
both "The Communist Party of America"
and "The Socialist Party of America",
and he disavowed neither endorsement!

18.  "Last, but surely not 'least'", are the
many PROMISES that he made while
campaigning, many of which he had to
know, and we should have known, he
would never be able to keep.

19.  Then, of course, there were those
who said "How bad could he be?", or
"How much harm coule he do?"  Humph.

There may be other contributing factors to
"Why and how was Obama elected", but
these WERE, and sadly MAY STILL BE
the major factors for Barry Soetero
"squatting" in our White House for 3+ years,
and FOR ANOTHER 4 YEARS?!      

PART 4 & FINAL (FINALLY) OF "THINGS OBAMA COULD DO TO MAKE ME HAPPY"

I KNOW, I KNOW, WHERE WILL IT EVER END?
I DON'T KNOW.  JUST WHEN I THINK "I'VE DONE
ENOUGH", MORE "BRAINSTORMS" ATTACK MY
ALREADY BESIEGED MIND.  GOT TO STOP THIS
"MADNESS" NOW, AS THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO APPLY MYSELF TO.

HERE GOES!  READY?  NO LAUGHING OR CHUCKLING!

1.  GET A CLUE.

2.  TELL US YOUR FAVORITE CHAIRMAN MAO QUOTE.

3.  BE A CONTESTANT ON "ARE YOU SMARTER THAN
     A FIFTH GRADER"!

4.  GO OVER NIAGARA IN A BARREL.

5.  WHAT IS THE "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE"?

6.  WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?  (I'm guessing
     it's The Blues, because that's what you're "playing" for us!)

7.  SAY, "I LOVE AMERICA".

8.  PRACTICE "SAFE SEX".  We don't need any more Obamas.

9.  IF YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME, WHAT WOULD YOU
     CALL YOURSELF?  I have some suggestions.

10.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE FROM KARL MARX?

11.  DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?  NO, NOT THAT ONE,
       I MEAN A "MUSICAL" INSTRUMENT!

12.  DO YOU ATTEND FAMILY REUNIONS, OR ARE TOO
      MANY OF YOUR RELATIVES HIDING OR IN JAIL?

13.  EXPLAIN THIS QUOTE:  "FERTILIZER HAPPENS".
      Yeh, but 4 years of it?

14.  HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE "THE GREATEST MUSLIM
      PRESIDENT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD"?

15.  DO YOU SIT TO PEE?

16.  AFTER YOU LEAVE OFFICE IN 2013, HOW LONG WILL
       IT BE UNTIL "OBAMALAND" AMUSEMENT PARK
      OPENS?  Where will it be, Kenya?

17.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING OF LENIN'S?

18.  HOW MANY HABIBS & BURQAS DO YOU AND
       MICHELLE HAVE?  Which one is your favorite color?

19.  BE A GUEST ON "HILLBILLY HAND-FISHING".

20.  NAME ANY ARTICLE OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION.

21.  HOW MANY COPIES OF THE KORAN DO YOU OWN?

22.  WHICH MOSQUE DO YOU TITHE TO?

23.  GIVE US A FAVORITE QUOTE OF STALIN'S.

24.  DO YOU KNOW SIGN LANGUAGE?  GUESS WHAT
      "SIGN" MOST AMERICANS ARE GIVING YOU NOW.

25.  DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A CANDY BAR NAMED
       AFTER YOU?  IT'S THE "ZERO'" BAR!

26.  TELL US HOW MANY STROKES YOU'VE TAKEN
       OFF OF YOUR GOLF AVERAGE IN YOUR 80+
      GAMES SINCE TAKING OFFICE.

27.  TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR AND
       MICHELLE'S LAW LICENSES.

28.  DO YOU WASH YOUR FEET BEFORE TAKING
      OFF YOUR SHOES TO PRAY?

29.  AND FINALLY..............SHUT UP!

30.  ..............................AS ALWAYS, I LEAVE THE
      "LAST WORD" FOR YOU, MY FAITHFUL AND
       BELOVED READER.       

MORE "EVEN MORE" THINGS THAT OBAMA COULD DO TO MAKE ME HAPPY!

JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF.  WENT TO BED JUST AFTER
11 LAST NIGHT, AND A HALF HOUR LATER OR SO, I
FINALLY PUT THE PEN DOWN AND MADE MY MIND
QUIT!  SO YOU'LL FORGIVE ME IF SOME OF THESE DON'T
"MAKE SENSE"?  JUST LIKE SOME OF THE EARLIER ONES?
HEY - I HAVE FEELINGS, YOU KNOW!

LAST LIST (I THINK) OF THINGS I WISH OBAMA WOULD
DO OR ANSWER TO MAKE ME (AND YOU?) HAPPY:

1.  WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE NEWSPERSON, HANNITY
     OR O'REILLY?

2.  DO YOU AND MICHELLE SLEEP IN THE SAME BED OR
     DO YOU TOSS & TURN TOO MUCH WORRYING ABOUT
    AMERICA?  (Yeh, like I'd believe that one.)

3.  IF YOU'D QUIT TALKING SO MUCH (AND DO SOMETHING),
     WE'D HAVE LESS OF A PROBLEM WITH "GLOBAL WARMING"!

4.  DO YOU LIKE BLT'S?  BACON IS SO TASTY, HEY?

5.  ATTEND A "NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER" EVENT.

6.  SWIM THE AMAZON.

7.  WHISPER "I AM MUSLIM" TO ME.  PROMISE, I'LL KEEP
     IT A SECRET.

8.  WHAT IS YOUR "IQ"?

9.  PLEASE NAME THE "57" STATES.

10.  TRY SKYDIVING OVER AN ACTIVE VOLCANO.

11.  GIVE A SPEECH WITHOUT A TELEPROMPTER.

12.  CALL "SOMEONE WHO CARES".

 

13.  STAY "HOME" FOR CHRISTMAS.  (Kenya?)

14.  SEE THAT OUR MILITARY GETS THEIR "ABSENTEE

      BALLOTS" ON TIME TO RETURN THEM FOR 

     COUNTING!

15.  HAVE YOU TRIED HARDEE'S SAUSAGE AND GRAVY

      BISCUITS?  YOU GOTTA. 

16.  TAKE YOUR CAMPAIGN ENTOURAGE THROUGH

       MY TOWN - REALLY, DON'T STOP HERE, KEEP GOING

      "THROUGH".

17.  WRESTLE AN ALLIGATOR.

18.  CHOOSE BARNEY FRANK AS YOU NEXT "MATE".

19.  MAKE A WILL AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.

20.  JOIN THE ARMY.

21.  FIND AMELIA EARHART, AND DON'T COME

       BACK UNTIL YOU DO!

22.  RECITE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE BY HEART.

      (Oh, they didn't teach that in Indonesia?)

23.  ATTEND A "TEA PARTY" MEETING.

24.  WHO'S YOUR "DADDY"?

25.  BUILD YOUR "LIBRARY" IN KENYA.

26.  WHAT DO YOU READ REGULARLY?  NEWSMAX?

       "MAD"?  "THE WEEKLY STANDARD"?  "WSJ"?

27.  I HEAR YOU LIKE BASKETBALL - CAN YOU

      "SLAM DUNK" LIKE YOU DID THE STIMULUS

      AND "OBAMACARE"?

28.  DEBATE ME.

29.  YOU LIKE TO "GAMBLE", HOW ABOUT A 

       GAME OF "....................ROULETTE"?

30.  AS USUAL, I LEAVE THE LAST SELECTION TO

       YOU, MY DISCRIMINATING READER! ...............

       .................................................................

FEEL FREE TO COPY AND DISSEMINATE.  NONE OF

MY COMPOSITIONS ARE COPYRIGHTED.  MAYBE

THEY CAN'T BE?  FEEL FREE TO "SHARE" OR

PASS ON MY BLOGSITES TO OUR "FRIENDS".    

EVEN MORE THINGS OBAMA COULD DO TO "MAKE ME HAPPY"

Needless to say, I got some interesting and amusing
responses to Monday's first posting on this subject,
which only served to spur me on to continue on the
same line, which thoughts were already stirring in my

mind.  Only 1 was negative.  READY?

First, did YOU think of any additions to the list? 

Here's "Part 2"  of things that "His Arrogancy" could

do to make me, and a whole passel of others, elated:

l.  Apply for U.S. citizenship.

2.  Accept Jesus as Saviour and Lord.

3.  Recite his favorite Quran passage.

4.  Quote his favorite Bible verse.

5.  Show us his Kenyan birth certificate, of which

     I am the proud owner of a copy.

6.  Tell us what your golf handicap is.  You should have

     an idea after 80 rounds or more, hey?

7.  Tell us when he last talked to or saw your "old

     college girlfriend".

8.  Explain his involvement in the Chicago real-

    estate scandal.

9.  Explain why he sought financial aid at

    Occidental College as a "foreign national".

10.  Speak a few words in Arabic, something more

       than "Allah Akbar".

11.  Tell us what Michelle's favorite alcholic libation is.

       Is it really Vodka?

12.  What is your favorite, and how often do you drink?

13.  HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

14.  What are your favorite TV shows?  Barney?  

       Sesame Street?  NCIS/Mumbasa?

15.  What size jacket do you wear?  We're "fitting" a

       "special jacket" for you.

16.  What hymns do you want sung at your funeral?

17.  How do you want to be buried?  At sea?  Face

       down?  Standing up?  Mummified?  Encased in

      glass like one of your heroes?

18.  Do you like "MAD" magazine?  Did you pose

      for the cover?

19.  Why don't you say the "Pledge of Allegiance"?

       Is it true you said, "I don't want to take sides."?

      What did you mean by that?

20.  Why can't you sing our National Anthem?  Can't

       you carry a tune?  Are you "shy"?  Does it make

      your eyes well up with tears? 

21.  If you could rewrite OUR Constitution, what

      would you "hope" to "change"?  Everything?

22.  Do you still smoke?

23.  Who is your favorite person of all time?  (Other

       than yourself, of course.)

24.  If you could live in any other time period, what

       would it be?  Prehistoric?  The Crusades?  

25.  RECITE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE, PLEASE.

26.  Take back the bust of Winston Churchill.

27.  Do you carry a picture of George Bush in your wallet?

28.  Does Michelle know the meaning of "extortion"?

29.  TELL US WHAT YOU WOULD DO WITH A

       SECOND TERM.  (I'm afraid I know the answer already.)

30.  Your addition(s) here...................

There you have it.  I have a feeling there may be a Part 3!   

   

THINGS OBAMA COULD DO TO "MAKE ME HAPPY"!

As I was browsing through my Facebook page yesterday,
I came across a posting from a "contact" (don't know if I
can refer to him as "friend" yet), who posted comments
similar to this:  "You tea-baggers (referring to members of
the Tea Party) won't be happy even if Obama leaves office.
Is there anything he can do to make you happy?"  HUH!

HUH!  THANKS FOR THE IDEA!  Fasten your seatbelts,
"FRIENDS", here we go for a fast and scary ride.

HOW OBAMA COULD MAKE ME HAPPY:

1.  TAKE A HIKE.

2.  GET LOST.

3.  RESIGN. 

4.  COME CLEAN.

5.  CONFESS HIS KNOWLEDGE OF BLAGO'S
     ILLINOIS SENATE SEAT SALE.

6.  SHOW US A "REAL" BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

7.  REIN IN MICHELLE'S EXTRAVAGANCES!

8.  REIN IN HIS OWN EXTRAVAGANCES!

9.  DEPORT HIS ILLEGAL AUNT & UNCLE BACK TO KENYA.

10.  CONFESS THAT HE'S A MUSLIM.

11.  REVEAL THE DONATIONS HE RECEIVED FROM
       EVERYONE AND EVERYWHERE FOR THE LAST ELECTION.

12.  OPEN UP HIS COLLEGE RECORDS.

13.  SHOW US A "REAL" SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.

14.  SHOW US A "REAL" SELECTIVE SERVICE REGISTRATION.

15.  EXPLAIN HIS RELATIONSHIP TO GEORGE SOROS,
       BILL AYERS, BERNADINE DORN, VAN JONES, LOUIS
      FARAKHAN, "REV. WRIGHT", THE STEINS, ETC.

16.  TELL WHAT HE LIKES ABOUT THE "BIBLE".

17.  TELL WHAT HE LIKES ABOUT THE "KORAN".

18.  COME CLEAN ABOUT HIS "ACORN" CONNECTIONS.

19.  EXPLAIN HIS "BLACK PANTHER" INFATUATION.

20.  TELL US WHERE LARRY SINCLAIR IS.

21.  SHOW US THE WHITE HOUSE VISITORS' LIST.

22.  TELL US WHO REALLY WROTE "OBAMACARE".

23.  TELL US WHO REALLY WROTE HIS BOOKS.

24.  LET HIS CHILDREN WATCH "FOX NEWS".

25.  WATCH "FOX NEWS" HIMSELF, REGULARLY.

26.  APOLOGIZE TO AMERICA FOR SNOOKERING US.

27.  APOLOGIZE TO AMERICA FOR HIS LIES.

28.  ADMIT HE HAS "HOPE " TO "CHANGE" HIS ADDRESS.

29.  TELL US WHAT HIS "REAL" NAME IS.

30.  I'm leaving this one blank for your addition(s)..........


Okay, Barry, Barack, Hussein, or whoever you are.  You
want to make Americans "happy"?  I doubt it.  BUT IF
YOU TRULY DO.......you can start here, AND KEEP
GOING!  NO REALLY, KEEP GOING - OUT OF TOWN!
I MEAN, OUT OF D.C., FOR KEEPS.  THANKS.

A Tribute To The Garbagemen!

I passed a garbage truck yesterday, and suddenly became

reflective on what being a "garbageman" is all about.  Ever

give it a thought?  Were you ever one of them?  No?  Let's

consider what all is a part of picking up our trash:

l.  In many cases you get to wear a "beautiful green or orange

vest or suit, probably "company provided"! 

2.  Hanging onto the side of a moving vehicle would make many

kids' or teenagers' dreams a reality!

3.  You get to work in the "cool" of the day (nighttime, usually),

when there's no hot sun to make you uncomfortable.  Of course,

winter is another story, but we won't worry about that now.

4.  Seldom (never?) does a garbage truck get "tied up in

traffic".  Ever hear of it?

5.  If you're "lucky", as some of our locals try to be, you'll find

a "treasure or two" when you're picking up or picking through

some of the bags and boxes.  Talk about your "shift

differential"!

6.  It's not important that you shave or shower before going

to work, as you'll soon be smelly anyway.  Some guys would

really like that part.  (Some girls, too?  Yuk.)

7.  You don't have to dress up, like with a tie or dress shirt,

etc., in fact you can wear "little or nothing" under your

jumpsuit!  Scary.

8.  It shouldn't require a high school diploma or GED to get

a job as a trash person - the requirements are few.  Two

arms and two legs are probably the minimum.

9.  Unless you're the driver, you don't even need a driver's

license to get hired!

10.  You soon get used to the odors, and may even start to

like the "smell of the workplace".  Huh?

11.  If asked by your grandchildren what you do for a

living, you can aggrandize your job title by saying that

you're a "Sanitary Engineer"!  No further explanation needed.

12.  Chances are you won't have to worry about getting

"bumped" from your job, as there's no one below you to

seek to "climb" the ladder!  That was bad.

13.  There is great JOB SECURITY, as people will always

have garbage to be hauled, and besides, many people are

more "trashy" than others.

14.  If you "work your way up", you may get the route in

a "ritzy" neighborhood and get more valuable stuff to

take home!

15.  You probably get the daylight hours to do what you

want, once you schedule your sleep, as the stores and

malls generally aren't so crowded in the daytime.  (Be

sure to shower before going shopping,  please, AND,

DON'T wear your work clothes from the night before!

16.  "Job performance" ratings are perpetually bound

to be good, as long as the cans are emptied totally and

the lids are dropped nearby.

17.  If asked by someone who really doesn't know what

you do, "How's business?", you can always answer 

truthfully, "It's 'picking up'!"

18.  You'll never have to worry about "shining your shoes"

before showing up for work.

19.  Deodorant is not a requirement for the position of

"garbageman".  No deodorant, no cologne, no aftershave,

that's like getting a "bonus"!

20.  After time, the "whining" of the truck engine becomes

"music" to your ears!

Okay, that's how I see it.  What do you think?  Ready to

change your career path?  Methinks being a midnight

trashman would have a lot less pressure than the job

you're bogged down in now, say what?