GOLD? WHY GOLD? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!

I DON'T WATCH A LOT OF TV, MOSTLY SPORTS AND
JEOPARDY AND WHEEL OF FORTUNE. I DO SPEND AN
HOUR OR TWO EACH DAY WATCHING FOX NEWS. I
HOPE YOU DO, TOO, AS IT IS USUALLY FAIR AND
BALANCED, AS THEY SAY.
MY PROBLEM IS THE MANY, MANY COMMERCIALS
FOR THOSE COMPANIES THAT ARE TRYING TO GET
YOU AND ME TO BUY GOLD. YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN? WHETHER FROM SOUTH AFRICA, OR SOME
OF AMERICA'S COINS, OR THE SWISS OFFERING OR
ANOTHER COUNTRY'S, WE ARE CONSTANTLY BEING
BOMBARDED WITH OFFERS TO "SECURE OUR
FINANCIAL FUTURES" BY INVESTING IN GOLD.
ONE COMPANY EVEN SAYS THAT THEY HAVE LOWER
BROKER'S FEES THAN THE OTHER FIRMS. HUH?
YOU PROBABLY KNOW THE NAMES - LEAR, MERIT
FINANCIAL, UNITED GOLD, SWISS AMERICA,
GOLDLINE, ETC.
MY QUESTION IS THIS - WHY GOLD?
WHAT CAN GOLD REALLY DO?
REALLY, WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT GOLD?
YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK IT!
CAN YOU EAT IT WHEN THE MARKET GOES SOUTH?
CAN YOU BARTER WITH IT FOR FOOD IF THINGS
GO "BELLY UP"?
SHOULD YOU CARRY IT AROUND IN YOUR POCKET
IF WE ENTER A CRISIS AND EVERYTHING GETS
DEVALUED?
REALLY, THINK ABOUT IT - WHAT GOOD IS GOLD,
AND TO WHOM IS IT REALLY VALUABLE?
WHY NOT ANOTHER COMMODITY, SUCH AS IVORY,
OR TEAK, OR SEASHELLS, OR WOODEN NICKLES?

OR.............BETTER YET - WHY NOT MARBLES?

REALLY, THINK ABOUT THEM:
MARBLES ARE FUN TO HOLD IN YOUR HAND.
MARBLES CAN ROLL AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH.
MARBLES COME IN VARIOUS SIZES.
MARBLES CAN ROLL.
MARBLES CAN BE USED FOR MANY GAMES.
MARBLES CAN BE CLEAR, COLORED, OR EVEN
HAVE DESIGNS INSIDE THEM.
GLASS MARBLES REFLECT, DIRECT, OR REFRACT
LIGHT. TRY THAT WITH YOUR GOLD COINS.

THINK OF THE MANY USES OF MARBLES:
YOU CAN LINE A FISH BOWL OR AQUARIUM.
YOU CAN SIMPLY FILL A CLEAR JAR OR BOWL
WITH THEM.
YOU CAN DECORATE YOUR SIDEWALK WITH
MARBLES IMBEDDED INTO THE CONCRETE.
YOU CAN DECORATE YOUR DOOR SILLS AND
WINDOW SILLS WITH MARBLES.
MARBLES CAN BE TRADED.
YOU CAN HAVE "CAT'S EYES", "AGATES", "STEELIES"
OR A NUMBER OF OTHER TYPES OF MARBLES.
YOU CAN PLAY WITH THEM IN YOUR HAND(S) AS
A MEANS OF ALLEVIATING STRESS.
YOU CAN PLAY GAMES OF MARBLES AT BREAK OR
LUNCH TIMES - MORE RELAXING THAN THE NEWS.
YOU CAN "RACE" MARBLES DOWN A SLOPE.
YOU CAN GLUE THEM TOGETHER INTO VARIOUS SHAPES.
YOUR SNOWMAN WILL LOOK "COOL" WITH MARBLES
FOR HIS/HER EYES, TEETH, ETC.
POLICE OFFICERS CAN THROW A BUNCH OF MARBLES
DOWN TO STOP FLEEING CRIMINALS.

JUST TRY TO DO SOME OF THESE THINGS WITH
GOLD COINS! HUMPH! CAN'T BE DONE.

SO MISTER FINANCIAL EXPERT, YOU WHO ARE TRYING
TO SOLVE OUR MONETARY PROBLEMS WHILE MAKING
A PROFIT - TAKE YOUR GOLD AND MELT IT INTO
MARBLES!! I'LL PLAY YOU A GAME FOR YOUR GOLD
MARBLES. I'LL EVEN PUT UP MY BEST "STEELIE".
GAME?

NOTE: WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY PROPOSAL,
BE SURE NOT TO "LOSE ALL YOUR MARBLES". HE-HE!

THAT GREETING CARD IS HOW MUCH?

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times
or more - "That card is how much?", or "I can't believe
how much greeting cards cost!"
Having been a "card lady" in the not-too-distant past,
I have an idea why that seemingly little piece of
stiff paper with a bit of verse and a sometimes-crude
drawing on it costs what it does. I offer the following
for your consideration:
l. Heavy equipment to make a road into the forest,
includng fuel and insurance.
2. Personnel to operate that equipment, wages,
insurance and benefits.
3. Tree-cutting crews and equipment, just to "fell"
the trees.
4. Sawing the logs into smaller pieces and loading
them onto a hauler, another expensive piece
of equipment.
5. Shipping to the paper mill.
6. The mill's equipment and operators to make
the pulp into paper.
7. Shipping the paper in various "stock" qualities,
to the printing plant.
8. Cutting the paper to size. (Don't forget the
envelopes.)
9. Paying verse writers and artists to complete
the final product.
10. Packing and shipping the finished product
to the stores for display.
11. Wages for the "card lady" (or man) to set
an attractive and easy-to-shop display.
12. The share of the retail facility's overhead
(heat, lights, floor crew, insurance, staff-
including me) to get that all-so-important
card to your recipient (Aunt Molly, Gramma
Sue, or "Little Joey", etc.)
So there you have it. The next time you think
about complaining to the cashier (which might
be me) about the cost of the card or cards that
you're purchasing, REMEMBER WHAT IT TOOK
TO GET THAT CARD TO YOU!!
And besides, do you dare NOT send a card?
Remember the will that you might be mentioned in!
You're welcome, Bill.

P.S. - And don't forget that some of those little
"beauties" have actual photographs, felt, ribbon
and little "doo-dads" on them, not to mention
the gold or silver foil that lines their envelopes.

P.S.S. - How do you think they got that "glue"
to hold the envelopes together, and for you
to lick them shut? "Someone" (Mr. Ed?) ("Old
Nellie"?) paid a dear price for that adhesive!!

Things I Like About MORNINGS!

See below for my list:









See below:









Still thinking -









Ummmmmmmmm..........See below:









I like..........................(almost).........
See below:









Sorry - See above!

WHISTLING

Do you whistle?
Can you whistle?
How often do you whistle?
It would seem that WHISTLING has become somewhat
of a "lost art", don't you think? When was the last time
that you whistled? When did you last hear someone
whistle? How often do you hear whistling?
While minding the cash register at Rite Aid recently,
I heard a "gentleman" whistling as he exited the store.
My assumption is that he was having a good day?
Does anyone whistle when they're sad? What tune
would you whistle when you're "down"?
A decades-old song talks about "whistle a happy
tune, and no one will suspect that I'm afraid!".
Some have been accused of "whistling in the dark".
There are whistles of flirtation - "wolf whistles".
Whistles of relief - "Whew"!
Some call their dogs or other animals with a
whistle. Maybe there's a "horse whistler"?
Some beckon their children with whistles.
I heard a radio commentator and his crew note
that Barry "whistles" when he talks without the
assistance of his teleprompter, giving the idea
of uncertainty or misrepresentations when he
talks impromptu. Huh?
Santa whistled to his team.
Teapots "whistle" when they're done doing
their thing.
Are you in "inny" or "outy" when you whistle?
Some can whistle both ways, taking air in or
forcing it out through their front teeth.
If you'll remember to listen, many professional
entertainers have either whistled or had a
whistler complement their musical arrangements.
Roger Whittaker. Fred Lowery. Bing Crosby in his
famous "White Christmas" song. Les Paul. Neil Sedaka
on Pat Boone's "Love Letters In the Sand". Billy Joel
at the start and end of "The Stranger". Al Jolson
(who's he? careful, you'll date yourself) in his
famous "Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye". And, of
course, Otis Redding's "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay".
Finally, Brother Bones' well-known and still being
played regularly "Sweet Georgia Brown", theme song
of the Harlem Globetrotters.
You can attend a "whistlers'" convention!
You can find "whistlers" websites!
Happy? WHISTLE! Afraid? WHISTLE!
For those who find it hard to play a musical
instrument other than a radio or CD player, God
has given you a natural talent - WHISTLING!
Let me hear you blow a note or two.....Good!
Try hard, you can do it.
Let's bring back whistling, what say?
We may even start to see more smiling faces when
they hear us whistle - even though we're not
particularly adept at it.
I'm even going to suggest to our minister that
we "whistle" a hymn or worship chorus in church
some Sunday soon. Huh? Why not?

THE INESTIMABLE VALUE OF A SMILE

SMILE! You've heard that before, haven't you?
Those cute little yellow smiley-faces remind us
to increase our "face value" by turning up the
corners of our mouths into those becoming
looks of a SMILE!
Think about it. SMILES have a way of warming
up the heart of the person(s) you are smiling at.
It makes them to think things like, "He's happy
to see me!", or "She likes me despite what I said
about her the other day!", or "I must be somebody
to someone, else why would I be getting a SMILE?".
You never know what a SMILE can do - how much
of a difference or how powerful it can be for the
person receiving one!
How do you feel when someone SMILES AT YOU?
Good. Warm. Welcomed. Accepted. Friendly.
Appreciated. Liked. Loved. Pretty? Handsome?
You can never be totally sure of the power of the
SMILE that you are giving another, whether a
friend, acquaintance, neighbor, family member,
coworker, or stranger.
It's been said and proven that fewer muscles are
needed/employed in SMILING than in FROWNING!
It's more relaxing and less stressful to SMILE!
Perhaps the person that you're giving a SMILE to
is having a bad day (or a bad life), your little
contribution to their day or life may just spur
him or her on to continue to face the challenge
or challenges that they're experiencing!
A SMILE is disarming! It can break down any
social or hostile feelings that another may have.
It may say "I forgive you." Or...."I like you in
spite of yourself." Or...."My heart is reaching out
to you." Or..."I'm glad to see you out and about."
CAN YOU THINK OF OTHER BENEFITS? I'm sure
you can. How do you feel when someone SMILES
at you? Not that phony, "I have to smile because
we're face-to-face.", but that "I acknowledge and
affirm you because you're a fellow traveler."
SMILES relay a sense of wellbeing! SMILES pass
along a feeling of acceptance! SMILES can cause
an almost automatic response that creates goodwill
in the recipient! SMILES can be healing, however
temporary! SMILES can be that extra nudge that
a person needs to help them carry on!
SO WHATYASAY, READY TO JOIN THE "SMILE
CLUB"? Give a few SMILES out today, they won't
cost you anything, and the return can be
INVALUABLE!!
I'M SMILING AT YOU RIGHT NOW!!
THANKS FOR SMILING BACK, YOU'VE MADE ME
FEEL GOOD. Love, Bill

P.S. Every now then when someone SMILES at
me it makes me wonder, "Is my hair out of place?"
Or...."Is my zipper open?" Or...."Is my tie straight?"
Or..."Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose?"
HA-HA, MADE YOU SMILE!

MY NEW YEAR'S WISHES

Well, here we are on the fifth day of 2010 - how
many of your resolutions have you "blown" already?
Not funny, is it?
It's not too late, or early to try again - just make a
few practical and attainable goals - you'll most
likely succeed if you don't aim too high!
SPEAKING OF AIMING HIGH, here are some
"wishes" for the "not-so-new" new year:
For New England's Bill "Belicheat" to get a job
in a funeral home - where the other "stiffs" are!
For Rush Limbaugh to quit swearing - he can
get his messages across otherwise - except that
he gets so riled up, it's hard not to swear! Huh?
No wonder he had chest pains - the weight of
being the VOICE OF CONSERVATISM is heavy!
For Pittsburgh to become even more "The
Most Livable City", an honor that it has gotten
often in recent years.
For global warming to become a reality - I hate
the cold! Can't it snow in 50-plus temps?
For a newspaper or sponsor somewhere to
"discover" my creative talents and support me
in the manner I wish to live. Huh?
For Troy Polamalu to have a complete recovery
and come back stronger, faster, and better than
ever, if that's possible. (See my sports blog).
For Osama Bin Laden to find a "final resting
place", so we can honor him in the custom that
he deserves - HELLFIRE!
For all terrorists to have the same "success"
that the Christmas Day "splomber" had - does
the word FIZZLE mean anything to you?
For all liberals to GET A BRAIN and GET A
HEART to think about others and not just
themselves!!
For me to "hit the lottery" so that I can help
so many people (me, first, of course!). I just
gotta remember to play. Duh.
For all truth-speaking Gospel-delivering churches
to be full for every service!
For a cure for cancer, heart disease, leukemia,
malaria, dementia (personal request), H1N1,
colds, and all other debilitating maladies.
For the "conservatives", including but not
excluding Republicans, to be able to know
what their message is, and to be able to make
it understandable and desirable to voters and
Americans as a whole. Do we need a new or
another party?
LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, for knowledge, insight,
wisdom, and speaking/writing ability for all
patriotic American spokespeople to "catch the
imagination" and attention of our citizens.
I'M IN YOUR CORNER, AND HOPEFULLY IN
YOUR CONSCIENCE, TOO!