1. ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT, WHY? AREN'T YOU GOING DOWNSTREAM?
SHOULDN'T YOU JUST "GO WITH THE FLOW", OR ARE YOU IN A HURRY?
WERE YOU DROPPED OFF UPSTREAM BY A BUS OR OTHER VEHICLE?
2. "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB - THERAPY ANIMAL?
WHO DID SHE THINK SHE WAS TO BREAK THE RULES? HUMPH. 5.
WAS SHE A "TEACHER'S PET? HER LAMB, TOO?
3. LITTLE BO BEEP LEFT THE PASTURE GATE OPEN!
NOW SHE MISSED MARKET DAY.
4. BIG BAD WOLF WAS UPSET ABOUT A POST ON FACEBOOK BY
THE "3 PIGS COMPANY".
5. HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS A GLUTTON! WHY IN THE WORLD WAS
HE SITTING ON A WALL? SO HE COULD GET A BETTER VIEW OF
"THE CHICKS"? "CRACKS" ME UP. BESIDES, DIDN'T "ALL THE KING'S
HORSES AND ALL THE KING'S MEN HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO?
6. THE OLD LADY WHO LIVED IN A SHOE MUST HAVE BEEN HOMELESS.
SEEMS SHE WAS PROMISCUOUS? WHERE WAS CHILD SERVICES?
7. "THREE MEN IN A TUB", WERE THEY GAY? DID THEIR SHIP WRECK AND
THERE WERE NO LIFEBOATS FOR THEM? WERE THEY PLANNING A GRAND
AFFAIR WITH "THE BUTCHER, THE BAKER, AND THE CANDLESTICK MAKER"?
MAYBE A WEDDING AT THE PALACE?
8. JACK AND JILL MAY HAVE BEEN "NIPPING AT THE SAUCE". WHY DIDN'T THEY
TAKE THE STONE PATH UP THE HILL? SHOULD THEY HAVE BEEN WEARING
"CRASH HELMETS"?
9. "LITTLE BOY BLUE" WAS LAYING DOWN ON THE JOB. NO PAY FOR HIM.
10. LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD SHOULD HAVE CARRIED PROTECTION.
DID SHE IGNORE HER PARENTS' WARNINGS TO AVOID THE WOODS & WOLVES?
WHY DIDN'T GRANDMA CALL "UBER EATS"?
11. GOLDILOCKS WAS AN INTRUDER!
12. WHAT WAS "LITTLE MISS MUFFET" SITTING ON? HUH?
13. "BAA, BAA BLACK SHEEP" WAS A HOARDER.
"ONE FOR THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVED DOWN THE LANE"? WAS HE A PEDOPHILE?
14. MARY, MARY QUITE CONTRARY WAS METICULOUS - WHY DID SHE INSIST
ON HER GARDEN BEING "ALL IN A ROW"? PIC FOR 'GOOD HOUSEPEEPING' OR
"BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS"?
15. OLD KING COLE HAD TO PLACE A "HELP WANTED"AD - HIS FIDDLERS
DIDN'T ANSWER HIS CALL - THEY WERE BUSY "FIDDLING AROUND"!
BESIDES, WHAT WAS HE SMOKING IN HIS PIPE? HMMMMMMM.
16. "PETER PIPER" FORGOT TO LOCK THE STOREHOUSE! SOMEBODY STOLE
HIS "PICKLED PEPPERS". LOCAL PIZZERIA OWNER WAS UPSET.
17. ONE OF THE PIG BROTHERS SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED A
"BUILDING CONSULTANT".
18. JACK SPRATT WAS DIABETIC - COULD EAT NO FAT. HIS WIFE WAS
"HEFTY", SHE "COULD EAT NO LEAN", THEY SAY. AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT
"LICKING THE PLATTER CLEAN"? EWWW. I'VE SEEN DOGS DO THAT AT A
HOME WHERE I ATE SUPPER.
19. "HEY DIDLE DIDDLE" - WAS THE FIDDLE STRUNG WITH "CATGUT"?
THAT COW SHOULD JOIN THE U.S. OLYMPIC TEAM! WHAT A LEAPER.
BESIDES, WAS SOMEBODY TAKING "LUDES"? "OOO, OOO, OOO, LOOKIN'
OUT MY BACK DOOR"!!
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