I passed a garbage truck yesterday, and suddenly became
reflective on what being a "garbageman" is all about. Ever
give it a thought? Were you ever one of them? No? Let's
consider what all is a part of picking up our trash:
l. In many cases you get to wear a "beautiful green or orange
vest or suit, probably "company provided"!
2. Hanging onto the side of a moving vehicle would make many
kids' or teenagers' dreams a reality!
3. You get to work in the "cool" of the day (nighttime, usually),
when there's no hot sun to make you uncomfortable. Of course,
winter is another story, but we won't worry about that now.
4. Seldom (never?) does a garbage truck get "tied up in
traffic". Ever hear of it?
5. If you're "lucky", as some of our locals try to be, you'll find
a "treasure or two" when you're picking up or picking through
some of the bags and boxes. Talk about your "shift
differential"!
6. It's not important that you shave or shower before going
to work, as you'll soon be smelly anyway. Some guys would
really like that part. (Some girls, too? Yuk.)
7. You don't have to dress up, like with a tie or dress shirt,
etc., in fact you can wear "little or nothing" under your
jumpsuit! Scary.
8. It shouldn't require a high school diploma or GED to get
a job as a trash person - the requirements are few. Two
arms and two legs are probably the minimum.
9. Unless you're the driver, you don't even need a driver's
license to get hired!
10. You soon get used to the odors, and may even start to
like the "smell of the workplace". Huh?
11. If asked by your grandchildren what you do for a
living, you can aggrandize your job title by saying that
you're a "Sanitary Engineer"! No further explanation needed.
12. Chances are you won't have to worry about getting
"bumped" from your job, as there's no one below you to
seek to "climb" the ladder! That was bad.
13. There is great JOB SECURITY, as people will always
have garbage to be hauled, and besides, many people are
more "trashy" than others.
14. If you "work your way up", you may get the route in
a "ritzy" neighborhood and get more valuable stuff to
take home!
15. You probably get the daylight hours to do what you
want, once you schedule your sleep, as the stores and
malls generally aren't so crowded in the daytime. (Be
sure to shower before going shopping, please, AND,
DON'T wear your work clothes from the night before!
16. "Job performance" ratings are perpetually bound
to be good, as long as the cans are emptied totally and
the lids are dropped nearby.
17. If asked by someone who really doesn't know what
you do, "How's business?", you can always answer
truthfully, "It's 'picking up'!"
18. You'll never have to worry about "shining your shoes"
before showing up for work.
19. Deodorant is not a requirement for the position of
"garbageman". No deodorant, no cologne, no aftershave,
that's like getting a "bonus"!
20. After time, the "whining" of the truck engine becomes
"music" to your ears!
Okay, that's how I see it. What do you think? Ready to
change your career path? Methinks being a midnight
trashman would have a lot less pressure than the job
you're bogged down in now, say what?
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